19 November 1832 – 25 November 1832

After breakfast, wrote journal. Went out shopping and returning cards; called on Mrs. ——, and was let in. I like her; she is a nice person, with agreeable manners. Came home at about half-past two; put out things for the theatre; dined at three. After dinner, pottered about clothes till time to go to the theatre. The house was very good. My benefit—play, Much Ado about Nothing. I played very well. I am much improved in my comedy acting. Came home in a coach—it poured with rain. What a stupid day! The accounts of cholera in New Orleans are frightful; they have the yellow fever there too. Poor people! what an awful visitation!

After breakfast, wrote journal. At twelve, went and called upon Mrs. ——: the day was bright, but bitter cold, with a keen piercing wind that half cut one in half, and was delicious. The servant denied Mrs. ——; but we had hardly turned from the door when both the ladies came rushing after us, with nothing on their heads and necks, and thin summer gowns on. They brought us into a room where there was a fire fit to roast an ox. No wonder the women here are delicate and subject to cold, and die of consumption. Here were these sitting absolutely in an oven, in clothes fit only for the hottest days in summer, instead of wrapping themselves up well, and trotting out, and warming their blood wholesomely with good hard exercise. The pretty Mrs. —— looks very sickly, and coughs terribly. Her beauty did not strike me so much to-day. I do not admire any body who looks as if a puff of wind would break them in half, or a drop of water soak them through. I greatly prefer her sister's looks, who certainly is not pretty, but tall and straight, and healthy-looking, and springy as a young thing ought to be. Was introduced to a most enchanting young Newfoundland dog, whom I greatly coveted. Settled to ride to-morrow, if fine. Called at ——'s, also at a furrier's about cap, and came home. Found —— and —— with my father. What a very bad expression of face the former has; sneering and false—terrible! I looked at —— with much respect. I like his spirit, as it shines through his works, greatly. He was a pale sickly-looking man, without any thing at all remarkable in the expression of his countenance. While they were here, Mr. —— called to settle about to-morrow. He is a nice person, sensible and civil, and civil in the right way. Arrangements were made for dear ——'s going, which I rejoiced in greatly. I do not like at all leaving her behind. When the folks were gone, put out things for the theatre. While doing so, Mr. —— and Mr. and Mrs. —— called. Great discoursing about horses and horsemanship. Dined at three. After dinner, put fur upon my habit. At half-past five, went to the theatre. House very good; play, Hunchback. By the by, Colonel —— called to-day, to entreat me to go and see his "Honour, the Recorder," who had sent me tickets of admission to the town-hall, to see —— receive the freedom of the city. I could not go, because of our horseback expedition—this by the way. I played so-soish. —— was at the play; and at the end, somebody in the house exclaimed, "Three cheers for ——!" whereupon a mingled chorus of applause and hisses arose. The Vice-president looked rather silly, and acknowledged neither the one nor the other. How well I remember the Duke of —— coming to the orchestra to see this play, the night before it was expected the Whigs would go out. I dare say he knew little enough what the Hunchback was about. I do not think the people noticed him, however; so the feeling of the pulse must have been unsatisfactory. Mr. —— said to Modus to-night in the play, speaking of me, "a change of linen will suffice for her." How absurd! we were all dying on the stage. Came home; supped:—looked at silks; chose a lovely rose-coloured one to line my Portia dress; with which good deed my day ended.

Looked at the sun, and, satisfied with his promise, went to bed again, and slept till half-past eight. After breakfast, wrote to his honour, the Recorder, an humble apology in true Old Bailey style. Wrote journal, and began practising. Mrs. —— called before I was out of my bed to tell us that the ——'s were not going, but that either her husband or her brother-in-law would be too glad to go in the gig with D——. This, however, the latter refused, not choosing, as she said, to make any young man do the penance of keeping her company on a party of pleasure. Dear good old D——! I was vexed and provoked; but it could not be helped. At eleven, —— came for me. I found Mrs. —— in the carriage waiting for me. We adjourned to Warren Street, where were assembled all the party. While we waited for our horses, Neptune, the beautiful Newfoundland, was admitted, and amused himself by prancing over tables, and chairs, and sofas, to his own infinite delight, and the visible benefit of the furniture. Our steeds having arrived, we mounted and began to progress. Myself, and Mrs. ——, her husband, his brother, ——, and papa ——, Dr. ——, Mrs. ——'s brother, and Mr. ——, nephew, I believe, of the Irish patriot, were the equestrians of the party. After, followed Mr. —— and Mrs. ——, all be-coated and be-furred, in the stanhope. After, followed the ammunition-waggon, containing a negro servant, Neptune, and sundry baskets of champagne, cake, and cherry bounce. Away we rushed down Broadway, to the infinite edification of its gaping multitudes. Mr. —— had gotten me an enchanting horse that trotted like an angel. So, in spite of Major ——'s awful denunciation of "disgusting," I had a delicious hard trot all through the streets, rising in my saddle like a lady, or rather, a gentleman. My habit seemed to excite considerable admiration and approbation, and indeed it was great. Crossed the Brooklyn ferry in the steam-boat, and safely landed on the opposite side. The whole army defiled; the stanhope taking the van, the horses forming the main body, and the provisions bringing up the rear. Our party separated constantly, as we progressed, into various groups, but I remained chiefly with Dr. ——, Mr. ——, and old Mr. ——. By the by, those ——s are a charming family; for Mrs. —— sits straight in her saddle, and the Doctor settled, when we started, that when he had despatched his patients, he would call for D—— in the gig, and come down to meet us at the fort. Our ride thither was extremely agreeable: the day was clear, cold, and grey; a delightful day for riding. I trotted to my heart's content; and kept my blood warm, and my spirits like champagne, till we reached the fort, when, at sight of the Narrows, and the Sandy Hook lighthouse, they sank deep, deep down. * * * * * * * * * * The sea lay grey and still, without a wave or scarce a ripple. A thousand light skiffs, of various shapes, lay upon the leaden waters. The sky was a fine heap of heavy purple clouds, from behind which the sun shot down his rays, which threw a melancholy wan lustre on the sea beneath them. 'Twas a sad and beautiful scene. The colouring of the whole was gloomily harmonious; and the dark shores and grey expanse of water blended solemnly with the violet-coloured curtain of the heavens. We went over the fort. 'Tis a fortification of no great size, or, I should think, strength; but its position, which commands the narrow entrance to the bay of New York, effectually checks the pass, and guards the watery defile that leads to the city of Mammon. We looked at the guns and powder-magazine, walked round the walls, and peeped into the officers' quarters, and then descended to seek where we might eat and be satisfied. Mrs. —— is a very nice creature: she looks the picture of good temper—never stands still a minute; and as we rode along to-day, when, fearing she might be cold, I asked her how she found herself, she replied, with perfect innocence and sincerity, "Oh, delightful!" which made us all scream. We knocked up the quarters of an old woman who kept a cottage, not exactly young love's humble shed, but good enough for our purpose. We got sundry logs of wood, and made a blazing fire; moreover, the baskets were opened, and presently we presented the interesting spectacle of a dozen people each with a lump of cake in one hand, and a champagne glass in the other. Mr. —— and Mrs. —— stuck to the cherry bounce, and, as we afterwards heard, drove home accordingly. Having discussed, we remounted, and set forwards home by another road; a very lovely one, all along the river side. Ere we had progressed long, we met D—— and Dr. —— in the gig. The nice good man had kept his word, and gone to fetch her. They had met Mr. ——'s equipage going cherry-bounce pace, it seems, two miles ahead of us. The men here are never happy unless they are going full speed. 'Tis no wonder their horses are good for nothing: they would ruin any horses that were good for any thing. Such unskilful horsemanship I never saw: going full tear; crossing one another in every direction; knocking up against one another; splashing through puddles because they have no hand over their horses, and either overshooting their point, or being half thrown at every turn of the road, for the same reason. Came home full speed, and arrived at half-past four, having ridden, I should think, nearly twenty miles. Found Mrs. —— at home. They pressed me very much to stay dinner with them; but my father expected me, and I would not. That worthy youth, ——, insisted upon my accepting his beautiful large dog, Neptune, which I did conditionally, in case Mr. —— should fail me, which I think a very improbable case indeed. They ordered the carriage, and Mr. —— persisted in seeing me home in it, much to my annoyance, as 'twas a very useless ceremony indeed. Did not dishabit, but dined en amazone. * * * * * Gave D—— her muff and tippet, which are exceedingly magnificent. After dinner, pottered about, and dressed at once. Played on the piano till nine, when we adjourned to ——'s. A complete "small party, my dear." Dr. —— was there, whom I was glad to see; also Mrs. ——; also Mr. and Miss ——; also that Mrs. ——, who is utter horror and perturbation of spirit to me; also ——; also ——; all our riding party, and a world besides. After a little time, dancing was proposed; and I stood up to waltz with Mr. ——, who observed that Dr. —— was gone, as he never chose to be present while waltzing was going on. I felt shocked to death that unconsciously I should have been instrumental in driving him away, and much surprised that those who knew his disapprobation of waltzing should have proposed it. However, he was gone, and did not return. Therefore I waltzed myself out of my conscientious remorse. Sang them Fanny Gray, and Ye Mariners of Spain. Danced sundry quadrilles; and, finally, what they called a Kentucky reel,—which is nothing more than Sir Roger de Coverley turned Backwoodsman—and afterwards a "foursome reel." Played magic music; and, finally, at one o'clock, came home, having danced myself fairly off my legs.

It poured with rain all day. Dr. —— called, and gave me a sermon about waltzing. As it was perfectly good sense, to which I could reply nothing whatever in the shape of objection, I promised him never to waltz again, except with a woman, or my brother. * * * * * After all, 'tis not fitting that a man should put his arm round one's waist, whether one belongs to any one but one's self or not. 'Tis much against what I have always thought most sacred,—the dignity of a woman in her own eyes and those of others. I like Dr. —— most exceedingly. He spoke every way to my feelings of what was right, to-day. After saying that he felt convinced, from conversations which he had heard amongst men, that waltzing was immoral in its tendency, he added, "I am married, and have been in love, and cannot imagine any thing more destructive of the deep and devoted respect which love is calculated to excite in every honourable man's heart, not only for the individual object of his affections, but for her whole sex, than to see any and every impertinent coxcomb in a ball-room come up to her, and, without remorse or hesitation, clasp her waist, imprison her hand, and absolutely whirl her round in his arms." So spake the Doctor; and my sense of propriety and conviction of right bore testimony to the truth of his saying. So, farewell, sweet German waltz!—next to hock, the most intoxicating growth of the Rheinland. I shall never keep time to your pleasant measure again!—no matter; after all, any thing is better than to be lightly spoken of, and to deserve such mention. Mr. —— called, and sat some time with me. He is grown monstrously fat, and looks perfectly radiant. He brought with him a good-looking staring man of the name of ——. We dined at three. After dinner, received a pretty anonymous nosegay, with sundry very flattering doggrel. The play was the Stranger. It poured cats and dogs, and the streets were all grey pudding. I did not expect to see six people in the house; instead of which 'twas crowded: a satisfactory proof of our attraction.

At eleven, went to rehearsal—Isabella. I have forgotten all about it. They all read their parts; came home; began to practise. The two Mrs. —— called. I like them mainly, Mrs. —— particularly. While they were here, Mr. —— and a man called; they stayed but a minute. By and by, in walked Mr. and Mrs. ——; whereupon the —— departed. * * * * * * * * * * While they were here, received from —— the beautiful annual he has bought for me, which is, indeed, most beautiful; and with it, literally a copy of verses, which are not so bad neither—only think of that!!! The engravings are from things of Stanfield's, taken on the Rhine; and made my heart ach to be once more in Europe, in the old land where fairy tales are told; in the old feudal world, where every rock, and valley, and stream, are haunted with imaginings wild and beautiful: the hallowed ground of legend history; the dream-land of fancy and of poetry. Put out things for the theatre: dined at three. Colonel —— called: he brought news of the arrival of a Liverpool packet, and prophesied letters to me. Went to the theatre. Play, Hunchback—house very fine again. Just as I was dressing for the second act, three letters were brought into my room. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I was so much overset by them, that with the strange faculty I have of pouring one feeling into another, I cried so bitterly in the parting scene with Clifford, that I could scarcely utter the words of my part. * * * * * * * * * *

Our riding expedition having been put off, the day was beautifully bright and clear. Sat stitching and pottering an infinity. My feet got so perished that I didn't know what to do. Wrote journal; practised for an hour; Mr. —— called. When he was gone, went out with my father. Called at ——'s to order home my gown for dinner-time. Left a card at Mrs. ——'s, and then marched down to the tailor's to upbraid him about my waistcoat, which is infamously ill made. Coming home, met that very odious Mr. ——, who is the perfection of genteel vulgarity. He walked home with us. Dressed for dinner. Mme. —— did not send my gown home in time: abominable sempstress! so put on my blue, and looked rather dowdy. Found sundry that we knew: Colonel ——; Mr. ——; my favourite aversion, Mr. ——; that signal fool, Mr. ——; Miss ——, who looked like a hair-dresser's wax block; a Miss ——, with lovely feet, and a terrified Bacchante-looking head, cum multis aliis. I sat by one Mr. ——, who talked without end, and cleverly enough: indeed, it was rather clever to talk so wonderfully fast and much. After dinner, the party became much larger: Dr. ——, Mr. ——, the —— (all but ——), that entire self-satisfaction, Mr. ——, Mr. ——, and the knight of the rueful countenance; three singing men, ycleped ——; and a shoal besides. One of the Mr. —— and Miss —— sang the duet in the Didone, that dear —— and —— used to sing so lovelily. They both had good voices, but the style is but so-soish. Presently, three men sang that sea glee that I remember Lord and Lady —— teaching me at ——. What a strange faculty of our nature this is, this leading back of our minds to the past, through the agency of our senses, acted upon by present influences, the renewing life, the magical summoning up of dead time from its grave, with the very place and circumstance it wore. Wondrous riddle! what—what are we, that are so curiously made? By and by dancing was proposed, and I was much entreated and implored to change my determination about waltzing; but I was inexorable, and waltzed only with the ladies, who one and all dance extremely well. Mrs. —— looked lovely to-night. Dr. —— says very true, she has a thorough-bred look, which reminds me a little of our noble English ladies. He says she is like Lady ——. I think she is prettier: she certainly looks like a gem. We danced a Kentucky reel, and sundry quadrilles. That long ens, Mr. ——, was tipsy, and went slithering about in a way to kill one; and Mr. —— was sitting slyly in the corner, pretending to talk to D——, but in fact dying with laughter at poor ——, who meandered about the room, to the infinite dismay and confusion of the whole dance. Vain were the vigorous exertions of his partner, who pulled him this way and that, and pushed him hither and thither, to all which the unresisting creature submitted incorrigibly. Remained dancing till half-past twelve, in fact Sunday morning, and then came home. They made me sing, which I did abominably. On my return home, found my black satin gown, every atom of which will have to be unpicked—pleasant! the tradespeople here are really terrible; they can do nothing, and will take no pains to do any thing: 'tis a handsome gown spoilt.

My dear father's birth-day! also, by the by, a grand occasion here—the anniversary of the evacuation of the island by the British troops, which circumstance the worthy burghers have celebrated ever since with due devotion and thankfulness. Went to church: Dr. —— did not preach, which was a disappointment to me. The music was exquisite; and there was a beautiful graceful willow branch, with its long delicate fibres and golden leaves, waving against the blue sky and the church window, that seemed to me like a magical branch in a fairy tale. It struck me as strange to-day, as I looked from the crowded gloomy church to the bright unbounded sky, to think that we call the one the house of God; to be sure, we have other authority for calling the blue heavens his throne; and oh, how glorious they did look! The day was bright, but bitter cold. Coming out of church, saw all our last night's party. On my return home found a perfect levee; Dr. ——, Mr. ——, Mr. ——, Mr. ——, Mr. ——, a whole regiment. When they were all gone, wrote journal: having finished that and my lunch, set out with my father to fetch a walk; which we did to the tune of near six miles, through all the outskirts of the town, an exceedingly low-life ramble indeed—during which we came across a man who was preaching in the street. He had not a very large assembly round him, and we stood in the crowd to hear him. By his own account, he had been imprisoned before for a similar proceeding; and he was denouncing, most vehemently, signal judgments on the blind and wicked corporation who had so stopped the work of righteousness. The man's face was a very fine one, remarkably intelligent and handsome: he was cleanly and well dressed, and had altogether a respectable appearance. When we came home, it was past four. Dressed for dinner. My father dined with Mr. ——; so D—— and I had a tête-à-tête dinner. After which, played on the piano for some time; after which, began letter to H——; after which, wrote journal. * * * * * * * * * *