10 March 1913 – 16 March 1913

Work in the evening in our bedroom--two poor miserable bachelors--H---- reading Equity Law, a rug around his legs before an empty grate, while I am sitting at the table in top-coat, with collar up, and writing my magnum opus, which is to bring me fame, fortune and--E----! H---- says that this morning I was putting on my shoes when he pointed out a large hole in the heel of my sock. "Damn! I shall have to wear boots," I said--at least he says I said it, and I am quite ready to believe him. Such unconsciousness of self is rare with me.

[At a public dinner at the Holborn Restaurant] J----replied to the toast of the Ladies. Feeble! H---- and I stood and had a silent toast to E---- and N---- by just winking one eye at each other. He sat opposite me. If I had been asked to reply to this toast I should have said with the greatest gusto, something as follows,-- [Here follows the imaginary speech in full, composed the same night before going to sleep.] Yet I am taken for a soft fool! My manner is soft, self-conscious, shy. What a lot of self-glorification I lose thereby! What a lot of self-torture I gain in its stead!