10 July 1933 – 16 July 1933

Bella* arrived and knocked her head upon the window of the car. She cut her nose and was dazed. And then I was in “one of my states”—how violent, how acute—and walked in Regents Park in black misery and had to summon my cohorts in the old way to see me through, which they have done more or less. A note made to testify to my own ups and downs: many of which go unrecorded though they are less violent I think than they used to be. But how familiar it was —stamping along the road, with gloom and pain constricting my heart: and the desire for death, in the old way, all for two I daresay careless words.