27 November 1916 – 3 December 1916

... I wish I could die of heart failure--and at once! What a luxury that would be as compared with my present prospect! A Tomtit on the fence this morning made me dissolve in tears:--self-pity I believe. I remember Tomtits in ----shire. Put on a gramophone record and--ugh! but I'm too sick to write.

The shock I gave my spinal column in 1915 up in the Lakes undoubtedly re-awakened activity among the bacteria. Luck for you! I, of all persons to concuss my spine!! ... I listen to the kettle singing, I look at the pictures in the fire, read a bit, ask what time it is, see the Baby "topped and tailed," yawn, blow my nose, put on a gramophone record--I have the idea of passing on the midnight with no pain to the tune of some healing ragtime.

The anniversary of our engagement day two years ago. How mad the idea of marriage seemed to me--and my instinct was right: if only I had known! Yet she says she does not regret anything. This morning I turned to read with avidity accounts of the last hours of Keats, Gibbon, Oscar Wilde and Baudelaire. I gained astonishing comfort out of this, especially in the last ... who died of G.P.I. in a Brussels Hospital. E---- is awfully courageous and,--as usual ready to do everything in her power. How can I ever express sufficient gratitude to these two dear women (and my wife, above all) for casting in their lot knowingly with mine?

I believe I am good for another 12 months without abnormal worries. Just now, of course, the Slug ain't exactly on the thorn--on the cabbage in fact as E---- suggested. The Grasshopper is much of a burden and the voice of the Turtle has gone from my land (where did all these Bible phrases come from?). The first bark of the Wolf (God save us, 'tis all the Animal Kingdom sliding down my penholder) was heard with the reduction in her work to-day, and I suspect there's worse to come with a sovereign already only worth 12s. 6d.