14 June 1915 – 20 June 1915

... It annoys me to find the laissez-faire attitude of our relatives. Not one with a remonstrance for us and yet all the omens are against our marriage. In the state of my nervous system and in the state of hers--we have both had serious nervous break-downs--how impossible it seems! Yet they say all the old conventional things to us, about our happiness and so on!... ... Am I a moral monster? Surely a man who can combine such calculating callousness with really generous impulses of the heart is--what? The truth is I think I am in love with her: but I am also mightily in love with myself. One or the other has to give.